Our Faith Journey......
*trigger warning*
In being obedient to Holy Spirit, I told y'all I would share our journey with infertility. While such a vulnerable topic and such a emotional experience, I would be out of order if I didn't share.
Ya'll know that song by Vivian Green? "I'm on an emotional rolla-costa...." that's how I feel. This process is uber emotional. But I'm sure, once baby Pettus is in our arms, this will all be a distant memory. But its for sure keeping us in the face of Jesus.
I know I won't be able to share it all in the one post, so this will be a continuing story.
Here goes....
After being married for 7 months, Martin (my husband) and I decided we were ready to try for a baby. February 2018 I stopped taking birth control and we did the baby dance, every chance we could. After a few months, we saw nothing was really happening, So we decided to track my ovulation and do timed intercourse. So I bought all the things: basil body thermometer, ovulation test kit, pregnancy test, and prenatal vitamins. I downloaded the Ovia app to my phone, the whole nine ya'll! After doing all this for several months, nothing happened.
Sex with my husband became a chore. This was super difficult.
We decided to seek help. They suggest you try for a year if you're under 30 years old. It had been about 9-10 months and we were getting weary. At this point we realized we were having fertility issues. We realized, it just wasn't happening naturally for us. We realized, it really wasn't that easy.
In the black community, infertility is not a thing. Every time I turn around, someone I went to high school with was having a baby. Not married. But having a baby. Getting an abortion. Getting pregnant again. It is such a sickening cycle to watch.
I've had some great success in my life so far. God has always answered my prayers and granted me the desires of my heart. He blessed me with the degrees I desired and the education I desired to have. He blessed me with the career of my dreams. He blessed me with a husband, at a fairly young age and didn't make me wait too long. In conversations with my sister, we always say, "I look good on paper" ok?!
But have you ever longed for something that you had absolutely no control over? This is it! I have no control, and for a long time- It was crushing. I've tried holistic medicine, we've tried things from Pinterest, I've read every blog, we've tried every vitamin, we did ALL THE THINGS. We could not make it happen. I've cried, I've prayed, I've done both simultaneously. It's been a difficult journey this far.
But my sister helped me get
myself together and taught me how to talk to God in this process. I would constantly pray for our baby. I would constantly pray for a supernatural blessing. But my sister taught me to pray for patience in the process. Once I started doing that, I've been able to cope. I've been able to take the necessary steps without getting overwhelmed. Their is plenty more to the story that I will share. But I am so appreciative for my sisters prospective.
It has really helped me sustain hope in our faith journey.
Maybe you've been in this place or a place where you just couldn't make it happen. Maybe you're there right now or maybe you're feeling the effects of it. Pray for patience in the process. Holy Spirit will give you coping strategies that your human mind could never provide.
Continue to read the blog and walk through life and infertility with me! I am so glad to share this space with you! Know that your words form your life. Speak out loud what God says about you. Walking into the place you prepared with your prayers -all the things God has assigned to you in his will- declare
I HAVE JOY
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer "Romans 12:12
I love you girl,
Mell P.